Wisdom of the Word (W.O.W.) Bible Study

Growing to Maturity Series

Overcoming the Spirit of Offense

Tuesday, May 13, 2025

Key Verses:

Proverbs 19:11; Ecclesiastes 7:21-22; 1 Corinthians 13:5; Matthew 7:3-5; Colossians 3:13; Acts 15:36-39; Matthew 24:10-14; 1 Peter 2:21-23; Matthew 5:23-24; Romans 12:21; Philippians 2:5-11; Proverbs 18:19; Romans 12:17-19; Mark 11:25-26; Matthew 18:21-22; James 1:19; Luke 17:1-5

Key Terms:

Offense: Webster’s New World Dictionary defines offense as “to commit a sin or a crime, to create resentment, anger, to hurt the feelings of or to be insulted.” I’m sure we’ve all had our feelings hurt in our lifetime. An offense is a reaction to the words/behavior of another person which is in some way not acceptable, or hurtful to us.

Spirit of Offense: The spirit of offense is a sinful spirit that can attach itself to someone that is holding onto negative emotions in their heart like anger, bitterness, hate, pride, and especially unforgiveness. (The spirit of offense is an attitude/ force that makes people get offended even on very light and trivial issues.)

Trap: something hidden to catch an animal. To be effective it must be hidden and baited. Satan lays his snares/traps in deadly and deceptive ways, and one of the most frequently used snares is that of offence.

Overcome: achieving victory, especially through faith and God's grace, against challenges or obstacles.

Humility: meekness, lowliness, and absence of self; a state of mind that recognizes one's dependence on God and one's own unworthiness, leading to a willingness to submit to God's will and serve others.

Pride: Pride can besummarized as an attitude of self-sufficiency, self-importance, and self-exaltation in relation to God.

INTRODUCTION

In order to trap animals like rabbits, there are two important aspects of a good trap: first of all it must be hidden, and second, it must be baited to lure an animal into the trap’s deadly jaws.

Satan – the enemy of our souls – uses both strategies as he lays out his deceptive and deadly traps. They are both hidden and baited. One of his most deceptive and insidious kinds of bait is something we face every day of our lives – the bait of offense.

Offense is not deadly on its own. Every day we have opportunities to be offended – it may be an annoying comment from our spouse, the driver who cut us off in traffic, being falsely accused of something we didn’t do – and the list goes on. If we recognize the bait of offense and leave it in the trap, there is no problem. But if we pick it up out of the trap, chew on it, dwell on it in our heart, turn it over and over in our minds, we become offended.

Something in our culture today that is very prevalent is offense. When we are so easily offended, we also have a lack of unity, lack of relationship, emotional connection, harmony, and teamwork. We also miss out on most of the fun, joy, and blessings in life. Living with a spirit of offense (being easily offended) is a TRAP of the DEVIL to keep you from growing spiritually AND can be used as an INSTRUMENT of SATAN to hinder the gospel, cause division in the church, and to persecute the saints.

The Spirit of Offense falls under the Jealousy Strongman, but it brings with it the Spirits of Pride, Accusation, Strife and Bitterness. People with this spirit are easily offended and are compulsive complainers. The root to this spirit is insecurity; there is need for validation and respect from others to feel good about themselves. It doesn’t take much to trigger this spirit. It could be someone disagreeing with them, an innocent statement made that is taken negatively or their need to believe that they are a victim (others taking advantage of or using them). Their spiritual growth is hindered because their focus is not on self-reflection but on what others are doing or not doing.

IMPORTANT TO NOTE: People who yoke up with people who have this spirit will often fall from their own steadfastness, will stop growing, and will feel vexed in their spirit – they will stop enjoying church, stop feeling close to the Lord, and stop having respect for the TARGETS of the spirit of offense. The friends of this spirit can begin to take on this spirit or at the least begin to join in the gossip, join in the accusations, and finger pointing.

THE TRUTH IS

Criticizing other people is super easy.
Looking at myself and my own faults and taking responsibility for changing myself is HARD.

It is human nature to go around blaming others and pointing our fingers at other people in disgust while we believe we are wonderful, good, and virtuous. It takes incredible spiritual maturity to be willing to honestly look at ourselves and our issues. But God calls us to take responsibility for our own lives first. He calls us to remove the “beam” from our own eye so that we can see clearly enough to remove the “speck” from someone else’s eye (Matt. 7:1-5).

DISCUSSION

A spirit of offense is a negative spiritual force that can take hold in a person's heart and mind, causing them to feel easily offended, defensive, and angry.

This spirit can lead to conflict and division, as it causes individuals to take offense at perceived slights and to react with hostility and bitterness towards others.

It is important to guard against this spirit and to cultivate a heart that is open to forgiveness, understanding, and reconciliation. By seeking the guidance and empowerment from God, we can overcome being offended and experience greater peace and unity in our relationships with others.

People get offended for no good reason causing people to go onto divorce, road rage incidents, leaving churches, shopping rage & even social media disputes.

Jesus said, it is impossible offences will come but woe to him through which it come (Luke 17:1). We will feel offended, but it is how we deal with it that matters.

The danger is that if we allow offence in our life, it can stop the blessing of God from flowing in our life, but when we exercise patience and remain focused on God and His Word, He will turn your situations and circumstances around. It is God’s desire that you do not become offended. That we become dead to self.

The devil can ensnare one through offence and when that happens one begins to do the will of the devil and manifest feelings of anger, resentment, wrath and criticism which ultimately leads to divisions, rebellion and fighting.

Great men and women in history have missed golden opportunities because they’ve allowed offences to dictate their responses and actions at crucial points in their lives.

You may not indulge in so called big sins like fornication, adultery, drugs and taking alcohol but the weapon of offence could create greater damage if we are not careful. I have known people to stop talking to people for over 40 years because of offence. Imagine the devil was able to manipulate that person thinking they were right to hold that grudge onto to find themselves in the pit of hell.

Matt 24:10 ‘And then many will be offended, will betray one another and will hate one another. When we allow ourselves to be offended and we don’t deal with it, it leads to other very damaging human emotions like betrayal and eventually hatred of the person concerned. This occurs in marriages, workplaces, churches and businesses.

THE SPIRIT OF OFFENSE GOES BEYOND BEING OFFENDED

There’s a difference between being offended and having a spirit of offense. We all have plenty of opportunities to offend and be offended. We all have our own preferences. Sometimes those rub against the preferences of others and vice versa.

We cross the line into a spirit of offense, though, when rather than dealing with those offenses, we begin to nurse them. Rather than processing the hard feelings in a healthy way, we allow them to turn into what the bible calls a root of bitterness, which not only hurts us, but causes hurt in others as well. “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled...” Hebrews 12:15

If you think you can harbor bitterness in your heart without it impacting every other relationship in your life, especially your marriage, think again. Whether the offense comes from real or perceived slights, the feeling is real. The sadness, the anger, the hurt are all real responses to something that has offended you. While you may not have the choice to feel the way you do, you do have the choice about what you do with those feelings.

When you become offended to an extreme it is hard to have a clear conscience. All you can think about it getting revenge on the person that did you wrong by any means necessary: including lying, spreading rumors about them, devising schemes against them, and joining forces with their enemies in order to really make sure that they pay!

PRETTY GOOD AT HOLDING A GRUDGE

In the hit comedic television series, The Office, one of the main characters, Angela, shared how she and her sister, formerly her best friend, got into an argument over something petty. With a smug grin on her face, she boasted that she hasn’t spoken to her sister in sixteen years. She couldn’t even remember what caused the original argument. She quipped, “So yeah, I’m pretty good.” Good at getting offended and holding a grudge, that is.

PETTINESS

One of the clearest signs of having a spirit of offense affecting your life is extreme pettiness. In other words you take the smallest most insignificant thing and blow it completely out of proportion. There is always a tit for tat that goes on with you and you can never take accountability for your own actions. You are never wrong and the other person will always be the one at fault in every situation.

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF TO SEE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED

How Do I respond To The Truth?

When I’m confronted with the truth (God’s word), do I accept it as instructions for my development, or do I make excuses for my behavior?

Do I Submit To Those In Authority?

Do I willingly submit with honor and respect to my spouse, my boss, my pastor or church leader? Or do I begrudgingly submit to their authority?

Am I teachable?

How do I respond to those placed in authority over me that try to teach me? Do I take heed to their instructions or do “my own thing?”
No matter which one of these questions you may struggle with, there’s one common denominator to all of them; and that is HUMILITY.

Humility Will Keep Us Free From the Spirit Of Offense

In our opinion, humility is the catalyst to our discipleship. Many of us want to be Disciples of Christ, but we don’t want to submit to the process.
That’s mostly because the word submit is perceived as a negative word. However, we are told in scripture to submit.
“Be submissive to every human institution and authority for the sake of the Lord, whether it be to the emperor as supreme…” ~ 1 Peter 2:13 (AMPC)
Let’s be clear, submission isn’t meant just for wives to submit to their husbands. Submission is for every believer. As God expects us to submit to Him, to each other, our spouses, employers, and our government!
“Remind the believers to submit to the government and its officers. They should be obedient, always ready to do what is good.” ~ Titus 3:1(NLT)
The slippery slope here is that without submission, we can almost guarantee that we will walk in the spirit of offense.
That’s because to be discipled is to be mentored. To be mentored is to be held accountable.
However, you cannot be discipled without being teachable. You cannot be mentored without yielding to submission. And you cannot receive accountability without humility.
In other words, when you walk in humility you will avoid walking in the spirit of offense!

Offended people can be divided into two categories:

1. Those who have been wronged

2. Those who believe they have been wronged

This is a result of: ۰ Inaccurate information ۰ Or accurate, but distorted information Judgment is made upon assumption, appearance, hearsay.

What is the root cause of offense?

A spirit of offense is caused by various factors, but ultimately it stems from a lack of love and humility in our hearts.
When we are easily offended, it often reveals a deep-seated insecurity within us, and a tendency to take things personally.
We may also have unrealistic expectations of others or hold onto past hurts and grudges.

Staying Offended:

One way the enemy keeps a person offended is to keep the offense propped up with Pride. This is because Pride keeps you from admitting your true condition. You are blinded to it. You insist that you are not offended, that you have forgiven. Pride keeps you from dealing with the truth. It keeps you from repentance, which sets you free. Jealousy If we fail to deal with offense, it will produce much fruit:

Hurt
Unforgiveness
Anger Outrage
Resentment
Strife
Bitterness

This fruit can result in:

Insults
Attacks
Wounding
Division
Separation
Broken Relationships
Hatred
Envy
Blame
Deception
Betrayal
Backsliding
Loss of Destiny

SERIOUS DANGERS OF THE SPIRIT OF OFFENSE

1. Mind “Guard your heart, your mind, and keep your spirit devoted to The Father.“

“For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” (Romans 8:5-8)

When offense takes root, the first place it’s coming after is your mind. If offense can attach itself to your thoughts, it owns your ability to process understanding. The moment offense attaches itself to your mind, the ability to have clarity and peace is diminished, as everything now becomes about feeding every thought that is only directed at the hurt through offense.

2. Sight/Vision “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he” (Proverbs 29:18 KJV). “If people can’t see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; but when they attend to what He reveals, they are most blessed.” (Proverbs 29:18 MSG)

The problem now becomes about what you are seeing verses what isn’t actually there. Once offense attaches itself to your vision, you now become bombarded by everything that you see. You begin to see things as though they are something that they are not. Every post, every picture, every action is something that you see as a direct attack against you. What is a general or a normal statement now looks as a direct shot against you. Offense shifts your vision from fulfilling your purpose into a place of opposition—from everyone/everything. You’re now unable to recognize what God is doing as you’re devoted to see what is being done to you. (Photo via Flickr)

3. Heart “There are six things which the Lord hates, yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, a false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers.” (Proverbs 6:16-19)

This is a very dangerous place to find yourself. The moment that offense attaches itself to your heart, many things you do becomes toxic and dangerous. It’s out of the abundance of your heart that everything about your true intentions are revealed. It’s the moment that your heart becomes so infected that your actions become destructive to those that are around you.

4. Relationships “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.” (Proverbs 17:9)

This has to be one of the saddest things to witness as offense attaches itself to your relationships. Offense will eventually put a wedge between you and your family or friends. Your relationships will change over time as you search out certain people to tell your side to who will be on your side or who is now your enemy. Offense will divide your most devoted friends to now become an enemy because they didn’t see it your way.

5. Hearing “This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20)

Offense will attack your ear gate! A spirit of offense will attach itself to your hearing in such a way that not only will your natural hearing be affected, but also the ability to hear spiritually will be tainted. Naturally, we will begin to hear what others are saying and process those things to be slanderous towards us. More dangerously is when that affects your ability to hear what the Lord is saying. Your spiritual ear will become more tuned to the lies, manipulation and deception of the enemy.

6. Body/Health “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”(Proverbs 16:24)

Many don’t like to talk about it, but the truth is, offense will begin to become a natural issue in your body. The negative thoughts, bitterness, unforgiveness, rage, frustration, unwarranted worries, strife, etc., eventually take a toll on your physical health.

7. Time “Offense shifts your vision from fulfilling your purpose into a place of opposition—from everyone/everything.“

“Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:2-3) If honor produces life, what will offense take from life? Time! When offense attaches itself to you, your time becomes consumed with proving others wrong and you right. You become consumed with payback or restitution to what was done to you. Instead of being about the Father’s business, your number one priority is you. Therefore your time is now robbed from your own offense.

8. Finances “God gives wisdom, knowledge, and joy to those who please Him. But if a sinner becomes wealthy, God takes the wealth away and gives it to those who please Him. This, too, is meaningless—like chasing the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 2:26)

I know that it’s a touchy subject these days, but money is still a relevant issue that must be acknowledged in the Kingdom. Part of the lack you will experience when it comes to finances can be rooted to a spirit of offense.

When offense attaches itself to you, you soon welcome bitterness toward others in ministry, pastors, apostles, prophets, networks, churches, organizations, etc. When that offense digs deep, you will begin to withhold your finances from what you once supported. Offense will convince you to do so as a plan of strategy. Offense will convince you that they will come crawling back to you because they need your money. Truth is, offense attacks your finances and not the finances of those who are pleasing God.

SUMMARY

People with the Spirit of Offense:

Complain so often that it becomes toxic.
We all need to vent sometimes, maybe about our family or our jobs. It is good to let it out. But people with this spirit vent most of the time with it taking up most of their day. They also focus on what they believe others need to do instead of looking at themselves.
Negativity is always prevalent in all circumstances of their lives.
Insecurity causes them to be negative most of the time, always expecting the worst. They are wrapped up in what they perceive as negatives aspects and even view positive circumstances as negative.
Concentrates on what is lacking.
They cannot enjoy or appreciate what they have because their focus is on what they think is missing or the belief that they should have what others have. A sense of entitlement is common.
They assume and presume rather than seek facts
Common every day words are misconstrued, and obvious intentions expressed by others are ignored and replaced with something negative. Their first and foremost goal is to eliminate the pain they feel when they are feeling offended. As a result, they become accusatory and often believe that lashing out is the quickest most effective way to ease the pain.
They are trapped in anger and conflict
The battle is within and it causes strife in the family, work place and in ministry. They cut others down to make themselves feel better and talk bad about others behind their backs fairly often.
They are narcissistic and always the victim.
They can do no wrong and blame their problems on everyone else. When trying to explain the facts, they will ignore you; there is no reasoning with them because they are always right. Pride, Unforgiveness and intolerance sets in.
They are OVERLY sensitive
Because they are offended by some of the smallest things, people feel like they must be careful about what they say or do, so offense will not show its ugly head.
They ignore the ROOT cause: More often than not, my offense is rooted in a misplaced or self-centered need.

For example:

My need to be acknowledged leads to the offense of being ignored.
My need to be right leads to the offense of being belittled.
My need to be liked leads to the offense of being rejected.
My need to be needed leads to the offense of being discarded.
My need to be praised leads to the offense of being insulted.
My need to retaliate leads to the offense of being rebuked.

WAYS TO OVERCOME THE SPIRIT OF OFFENSE

Examine Yourself First

MOST of the time, people do not intentionally offend. Usually, the offended person reacts out of his or her own insecurity, carnal nature, or self-righteousness. If you think you are NEVER the problem, but you FREQUNTLY feel mistreated or blame others, consider what in your life or character might cause you to be easily triggered. People often quote Jesus in Matthew 7:1, “Judge not, lest you be judged.” They typically do this to justify their own sin. In context, though, Jesus was warning people not to judge others by a standard they are not willing to be judged by. Hypocrisy is expecting of others what you do not expect of yourself. Jesus’ guidance was that you first take the log out of your own eye and then remove the speck from your brother’s.

Practice Humility: Be Willing to Give Up Being Right ALL THE TIME

What am I clinging to? Paul tells us in Philippians 2:5-6 to “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God.” In other words, Jesus did not cling to what was rightfully His. Instead, for you He let that go. He gave up His rights. He denied Himself, emptying Himself and taking the form of a servant. When you find yourself offended, irritated, perturbed, angry, whatever the case may be, ask yourself, “what am I really clinging to?” Having to be right all the time is a symptom of pride. Then ask yourself how you can cling to Christ instead.

Invite the Help of the Holy Spirit

He has the ability to change your entire frame of mind, Romans 12:2, but that is going to take some spiritual growth on your part. You have to be willing to admit that you are dealing with the negative emotion that is attached to your petty behavior.

MORE WAYS TO OVERCOME THE SPIRIT OF OFFENSE

Stop looking for fault…example—stop pointing out everything you think is wrong.
Stop EXPECTING to be offended example…stop hanging on every word spoken or not spoken to accuse the brethren.
Stop ASSUMING the worst about other people’s character.
Stop having a vengeful spirit. LEARN TO LOVE BY OVERLOOKING.
Stop falsely judging other people by your own sense of self-righteousness.
Walk in the Spirit…pattern after Jesus ~ love, forgiveness, prayer, humility, etc..
Replace offense with gratitude…start being thankful for the blessings of God and appreciating the things and people in your life: your family, your job, your church and leadership, etc.
Start looking for the good in your church, in your leaders, in your marriage and home, on your job
GROW UP! Start by acknowledging the fact that you do take offense. Begin to observe all the times when you were offended and begin in your heart to make amends.
Meditate on the word…following the example of Jesus

OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH

Offense can be an opportunity, not an obstacle, when we see it as an open door to trust God. When you release others, you open your hands to receive from God, the only one who can redeem and restore.

“Joseph replied . . . ‘You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.’” (Genesis 50:19–21).

Offense/conflict is an opportunity to grow in multiple ways: relationship, understanding, communication, holiness, patience, and more. When there's a misunderstanding, it forces people not to assume matters about the other individual. They must go and "Ask" rather than "Accuse" them of the offense that caused the conflict. Underlying the "Ask" requires patience to not leapfrog to conclusions past rational, reasonable explanations as to why or how the person may have offended you. Much of the time, an offense is unintended and not malicious. Allow conflict to be an opportunity to "grow" in understanding, patience, and . . .

Offense/conflict can lead to learning. Interpreting an initial offense never tells 100 percent of the story. One's fortunate to get 50 percent of the contributing factors that led to the offense. Realizing that all the information is rarely perceived from an initial offense helps slow down an unnecessary escalation between two people. Conflict increases the opportunity for learning. When conflict comes, become an academic, not an accuser. Be a student, not a sufferer of your conflictive circumstance. Learn more about the full story. Learn about the person's makeup and wiring. Learn about their communication style. Learn about how you interpret things. Learn more about your insecurities and shortcomings.

1. Offense is an opportunity to identify with Jesus.

Walking through offense BIBLICALLY allows us an opportunity to walk in the Spirit – exemplifying the following: forgiveness, prayer, love, submission, and suffering like Christ. 1 Peter 3:18-25

2. Offense is an opportunity to self-reflect and examine ourselves.

Do I have a heart of forgiveness? Am I easily offended? What are my real motives? Am I self-seeking or am I preferring others over myself?

3. Offense is an opportunity for reconciliation.

The enemy wants us to get mad and bring others in on our mess and distance ourselves from our brother or sister. However, when we go to that person and seek reconciliation, there is an opportunity to strengthen the relationship.

CONCLUSION

The enemy seeks to sow seeds of division and strife and can use our own pride and past hurts to create a spirit of offense within us. To overcome this, we must cultivate a heart of forgiveness and seek to see others through the eyes of Christ. We must also guard against the enemy's tactics by putting on the full armor of God and staying rooted and grounded in the love of Christ. Jesus could easily have spent His whole life being offended. He was ignored, belittled, rejected, discarded, and insulted. But He chose not to let the offenses offend Him or keep Him from what He was called to do. Instead, His final words on the cross were, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

And He tells us to do the same. Jesus confirms that offenses will come, but in the same verse, He continues on to say that when your brother offends you, you should forgive him. Why? Because we can’t walk in our calling when we are too busy being offended, and we stop being offended when we forgive the offense.

Pride keeps you from dealing with the truth. It distorts your vision. You never change when you think everything is fine. Pride hardens your heart and dims the eyes of your understanding. It keeps you from the change of heart -- repentance -- which will set you free (see 2 Tim. 2:24-26). Pride causes you to view yourself as a victim. Your attitude becomes, “I was mistreated and misjudged; therefore I am justified in my behavior.” Because you believe you are innocent and falsely accused, you hold back forgiveness.

It is very difficult to have a healthy relationship with someone that is offended all the time. Speaking to someone with this problem will probably exasperate the problem. Offense is difficult to identify within because pride will keep them from excepting there is a problem. We need to speak the truth to them in love while listening and helping them identify facts vs assumptions. Help them to understand that a Spirit of Offense has but one purpose; it is to destroy relationships. If they refuse to listen, pray for them and give them time to heal.

Ephesians 4:26-27 Give no foothold to the devil. Offences make us give a foothold to the devil. The devil can ensnare one through offence and when that happens one begins to do the will of the devil and manifest feelings of anger, resentment, wrath and criticism which ultimately leads to divisions, rebellion and fighting.

Don’t Let the Spirit of Offense Destroy You

A spirit of offense has but one purpose: to DESTROY YOU! Offense is straight from the enemy and if you allow an open door, it will not be long until you see how it affects one of the 8 (or more) ways mentioned above. Guard your heart, your mind and keep your spirit devoted to The Father. When offense comes knocking, and it will, please walk out what the Bible declares. Don’t be the type of person who calls everyone without going to the one with whom the offense first began.

CHALLENGE: The next time you are tempted to be offended, don’t take the bait! Always remember that you have a choice. You can choose to be angry and bitter…or you can decide to forgive, believe the best of others, and enjoy God’s supernatural peace. Instead of getting angry, PRAY - pray, repent, ask, yield. Pray to God and let him know how you feel, repent of any thoughts of anger or retaliation, ask God to reveal his truth to you, and yield to the Holy Spirit’s guidance.